A Match!

On December 27th, two days after Christmas, I got a call from our adoption agency sharing the good news that a birthmother had picked our family for her child. I remember standing there, mostly numb wondering if this was really the end of this long journey. Could this actually be the end of this six year drought? I didn't feel overly excited, or elated. I didn't jump for joy, or shout and hug and cry. I didn't feel anything, really. I held it in. I kept it for myself for hours. I played Monopoly with my husband and son, and watched T.V. I don't think I wasn't excited, I think for as long as I could, I wanted to keep that super happy secret for me. I wanted to hold it deep down and believe that this was the end, and we finally found our child! And then, as I'd move my piece around the Monopoly board, and buy another house, I'd think to myself, "Someone picked us!" "WE WERE PICKED." I wanted that good news to stay perfect and precious, and GOOD. I was so afraid the other shoe would drop or fall off. And that one night, or evening, or hour, would eventually be ruined. I did eventually tell my husband, later that night in bed. He was stunned. I think with just the news itself, but also that I went for 4 hours and never said anything. Then we tossed and turned all night, and worried! And just like I thought, as we sometimes do, we find a way to take the best most precious news and smear it with worry! Why do we do it? It was a day I will never forget....and I have decided to start this blog/or online journal...to remember how this all went...after the storm had hit.